February 2012
1 post
1 tag
me: :(
society: turn that frown upside down
me: ):
January 2012
3 posts
jesus FUCK i literally cannot handle anything anymore you say even a word and i start crying and getting really upset with myself just lol anyone does anything and i find a way to relate it to myself and suddenly it’ll be a reason to just hate myself more than i already do
fuck’s sake
jesus dick you need to grow up and be truthful with me
you tell me that my happiness is really important to you
and then when i FINALLY AM HAPPY you get all upset about it and say that it’s “old news”
i don’t mind if you’re upset because it’s completely understandable
but you can’t tell me that you’re happy that i’m happy and then go off...
December 2011
8 posts
jessica made me this little bracelet for christmas with a heart on it and she wrote me a poem and i just gojfdmkf i can’t breathe okay these are the best presents she could ever give to me because she made them herself i wouldn’t care if the bracelet looked like poop and the poem read horribly i just wouldn’t care because she made them for me with her own two hands and i’m...
family member: so what are your plans
me: sleep and eat
family member: i meant for tomorr-
me: sleep and eat
family member: and for the futu-
me: sleep
family member: when you grow u-
me: eat
1 tag
my sweatshirt smells like her now oh ym god how it smells so good cries
November 2011
19 posts
2 tags
typeytimes:
i want to make breakfast in bed for you. i want to trace your jawline with my lips. i want to lose myself in you. i want you to hold me close. i want to take photos and make scrapbooks with you. i want our legs to tangle. i want feel your heavy breaths on my skin. i want to show you how much i care through a touch. i want to tickle your back while you’re falling asleep. i want to...
1 tag
1 tag
where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just
begun
to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking
feeling spin
me round again
february 27 is going to be a really bad day lmfao i might just not get out of bed that day at all
at the party on saturday tyler and i went upstairs for a while so we could talk and for whatever reason we were talking about being gay and why we wish we’re straight sometimes and when it went quiet between us for a minute and i remember exactly what was said between us and i don’t think i’ll forget anytime soon
i said “i think the worst part of being gay, especially at...
1 tag
my depersonalization has been so bad the past few days all i want to do is sleep
if tyler hadn’t been at sam’s last night
idk it just would’ve been really bad
he kept me calm just by talking to me and standing near me
i’m still really bad in group surroundings like that i guess and he’s just got a really soothing presence i guess????
dumb
i was literally so stoned after sam’s party last night that i invented a new oc and she’s really fucked up
apparently her name is marge
1 tag
honestly if i were you i’d value a plastic bag more than me
i’m just
truly and completely finished
what if i just killed myself i feel like thatd be a lot easier than dealing with anything
1 tag
i’ve learned not to talk through movies when i still don’t know the lines
i’ve learned who not to ask advice from when i can’t make up my mind
when times get tough i’ve learned that breathing is the best thing i can do
and i’ve learned letting go of friends is something i won’t get used to
i used to call everyone my friend but now it’s like a really sensitive term for me i don’t know why???
but yeah i have like
2 people that i actually consider to be my friends
when i came out to tyler he was so sweet and nice and accepting and i started crying so hard he was just so nice and he just said “okay. that’s good. that’s very good. give me a hug.” idk it just made me really happy he’s honestly the light of my life
my grandma keeps talking about how im going to date all these boys etc etc etc
lmfao okay grandma sure
boys
whenever i get angry i just start yelling at everyone and my heart rate accelerates a lot and my knees get kind of shaky and it’s really hard for me to just stop and count to ten and breathe focus on the good things etc etc i’m trying really hard to manage my anger but it’s just so hard ok. honestly though i’m kind of glad that i’m going from being really sad over...
October 2011
25 posts
1 tag
when a crush you had in like 6th grade suddenly comes back and is like 300 times stronger than it was then
loud
sigh
today was SO GOOD oh my god especially compared to yesterday
i’m upset that my date was cancelled tomorrow but maybe it’ll be rescheduled???? even if it’s not i won’t worry because i still get to go see them in december AND emma will be with me and i’m just so hopeful for the future now and i’m looking forward to everything and oh my god i feel a million times...
oh my god what if this actually turns into something i really hope it does omg omg omg don’t get ahead of yourself rachel you’ve barely spoken to her but om G she’s so cute and jsut ogm fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ??????????????????
eight days a week was the song that was playing when i was introduced to tyler now every time i hear it i tear up
fag alert fag alert fag alert
theres this really cute ftm senior in my school and hes really little and cute and sweet im like
fuck
the hardest thing to say
it’s the hardest thing to say in the world
i’m
sorry.
people to follow on new blog
lainey
lainey’s 365 blog
ask nic cage
evan
the only thing that makes me feel better is seeing people who are really happy that really deserve to be happy.
even if that means ignoring my existence.
i’m just
not going to talk anymore
since i sound like a 5th grader
and nobody listens anyways
oops
no matter what i do or who i meet or how hard i try or how hard i don’t try there is always somebody else that everybody likes better than me and it’s not even that
it would be really nice to be wanted over everyone else just ONCE just
god i quit i don’t understand i’m done with this i give up i’m done with trying i hate this and i hate feeling like i’m not...
god DAMN IT
list of things that i care about in order of importance
the maine’s new album
seeing the maine on the 29th
seeing the maine on december 17th
just everything about these past few months has been absolutely terrible and i don’t know what to do about it anymore i tried asking my mom if i could see a specialist and she said that i was lying about being unhappy and she didn’t think that i needed to and i just kind of retreated all the way back to the back of my head and idk i haven’t been in a spot this bad in a really...
i just can’t wait to see tyler tomorrow he’s the only person i know who’s actually HAPPY anymore and he gives me so much hope in a completely serious way i wish i could be like him?????
you are NOT allowed to do this to me you fucking selfish asshole you are the last goddamn thing standing between me and the flood and you are NOT going to desert me right now. i don’t care how selfish i sound you made a fucking promise to me and i refuse to let go of the one last person who actually gets me and listens me. i do NOT care how much you hate all this because guess fucking what i...
i’m sitting here trying to talk to people and it’s hard and i’m kind of sick of this i just want to lay in bed and sleep all day????
you’re making this so much worse “laugh out loud”
we’re barely friends anymore and i didn’t think it would feel that bad but
it really blows wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guys give really amazing hugs
but girls have really nice lips and ugh i love kissing girls